THE GREAT DANES - KøBENHAVN - DAY 16

I had three Italian roommates who talked for three hours in the dorms last night. Then a Spanish roommate came in, and he talked to them next to my bed. Between the four of them, they were speaking Italian, Spanish, English and French. Normally, this would be a beautiful thing for me, but they were clueless, loud and inconsiderate, playing loud videos and music on their phones in between chatting until 10:45PM. I didn’t say a word to any of them, and only when I changed into my pjs did they get the message to talk elsewhere. The hostel is perfect, but that’s what I get for staying in a mixed dorm of 10.

I wake up once at 5AM, when they get back to the room, and one of the guys and one of the girls start to make out. Mama Mia.

I want revenge when I fully get out of bed at 7AM, but that’s not fair to the rest of the roommates. Instead, after getting ready, I passive aggressively use the door by one of the Italian girl’s heads rather than the one by her feet to leave for the day. Ah yes, an Introvert's revenge.

I hop down to breakfast enjoying my dirt cheap healthy food, ask more questions at reception, and skip off to City Hall for Jen Olsen’s clock. It’s chilly in the early morning as the sun hasn’t chiseled through the buildings yet. I’m early, so I take a seat nearby. Guess where I sit?

...Next to three Italian couples. They’re loud, but it’s the day time, and I'm fully awake- I just have to laugh. I’m only salty because of the bad experience last night. Otherwise, as you know, I only have love for Italy and the Italians as our whole family does.

I get to experience Jen Olsen’s clock. It’s truly a masterpiece in clockwork. I say this as I know absolutely nothing about horology, but gazing into all of the intricate pieces, you can't help but appreciate its grandeur. I’m also fascinated to absorb the history. Jen had six siblings, and was already gifted in school- Particularly that of math, geometry and drawing. At the time, he studied the most accurate world clock in Austria for 11 days. Once he had his calculations, it took him 20 years to raise funds to make his clock. Sadly, he never got to see his clock built, as he had fallen ill and died one year before it’s beginning. Instead, when the clock was finalized, King Gustave IX, and Jen’s granddaughter, Brigit, started the clock together when it was finalized. Although technology has taken over for us, this is the most accurate clock in the world- Actually, the universe. It also tells the rotations of the Earth, all of the planets in the solar system, and is supposed to tell time, along with all of this astro information for more than 25,000 years.

Admittedly, a lot of this is going over my head so early in the morning, but I stare at it, and take in the mechanism as much as possible. It’s such a beautiful sight to see all of the small, inter-workings up close, and then stepping back to see the big picture of such an incredible time piece. Jen’s clock KIND of reminds me of my old Bionicles from LEGO. I know that sounds like a blithering idiots comparison, but truthfully many of the gears, teeth and pinions hold a striking resemblance to that of the Bionicle pieces. It is however also fitting since LEGO was founded and is based here in Denmark.

I read all of the info charts from start to finish- It’s not very much, since it’s a small room. I’m glad I came when it opened, because the influx of tourists have come in at this point. Pulling my face away from the glass encasement of the clock, and sucking my brain back into the present, and out of my immense staring contest at the clock's structure, I turn around to see a sea of iPhones behind me, facing the clock. I know I can’t say much, because I was just doing this earlier, I have to leave immediately- It’s getting ridiculous.

I peak into the main room of the City Hall building where the clock was located. I have to say, it’s not much to look at. They offer tours, but I have no interest.

My time spent at the clock, (LOL), was faster than I expected. I have an hour until the walking tour, and try to contemplate if I have enough time to walk a mile and back to Freetown Christiana. (I had asked the front desk about this, and they said it was totally okay to go there, but obviously just don’t go in the evening- Just like Alex said).

I decide I won’t make it in time to meet for the THREE hour walking tour. I need WiFi to look up the gallery Lotta suggested and the location of how close or far my concept shoes are located. I head back to the hostel to do more research.

I want coffee and maybe more food, but I skip it, finding that instead of buying the buffet, the individual items at the hostel are overpriced and not worth it. It’s okay, I plan on having a big kabob lunch- Always enough delicious food, and always cheap.

I look up the modern art gallery that Lotta had suggested. I was really enthused to go when she had showed me, but I find out it’s 8 miles away. This isn’t a terrible distance, but it’s the furthest attraction from me within Copenhagen, and I would have to take a bus. Once again, that’s no issue, but I decide to cut it out, as I simply won’t have time for it this trip with today and tomorrow remaining. Plus I want to see two other galleries, especially the one in Aarhus that is very far away, and requires a long bus ride there and back. On top of this, I talk myself out of Denmark’s Modern Art Museum due to the fact that there’s only one exhibition that I’m particularly interested in. It’s a clown exhibit, and looks VERY cool. Although I’m not afraid of clowns, I don’t have a particular affinity for them either. Also, they have a Van Gogh exhibition, but it won’t start until Sept. 1st- The day we all get back home to California. I can skip this Museum this time.

My concept shoes are located quite close to where I am, so I figured I could do this later today. The tour will take a long time, but after lunch, I’d probably be done by 2PM or 3PM. I’d have enough time to explore Freetown Christiana during the day, find my shoes if the shop doesn’t close before 5PM, and grab dinner and shower at 6PM. That’s what I plan at the hostel anyway when I finish looking everything up. I’m hoping to accomplish all of this, so I can do the gallery in Aarhus tomorrow, and the other gallery far from me, by the zoo. I may even ask the tour guide for the nearest kabob and bus- Much faster than trying to do it all on foot.

We begin our walking tour with our guide, Cherise, or Cher. She’s from Colorado and moved to Denmark for her Masters and of course, the benefits. She’s been living in Denmark for 8 years, and reminds me of Tibby from “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”. She’s really funny and sarcastic, and has multi colored dyed hair and a cross fandom T-shirt that I compliment her on. I should’ve worn my La Petit Rick shirt had I known.

There’s 9 of us on the tour. And then we grow to be a massive headcount once we start at City Hall. We learn that Denmark was started by a bishop, the one in gold at City Hall. Basically he would just hit people with a sword until they did what he told them to do, and that’s how Denmark began.

We look across the street to see the original walls of Copenhagen. And then learn that there was a massive three day fire that once burned everything to the ground. This happened a lot, all over Copenhagen. So many of its oldest buildings had to be rebuilt multiple times, and aren’t that old, hence the fresh architecture.

We walk down to Jacobsen’s house. He was the man who invented beer in Denmark. Apparently beer and food were terrible back then, but he went to Germany and learned how to make beer. Carlsberg was born, and it has a foundation. So every time you buy Carlsberg beer, a percentage goes back into the city.

We discuss Kierkegaard briefly. Cher mentions two quotes from him, “take a leap of faith”, and “If you get married, you will regret it. If you don’t get married, you will regret it”. I want to learn more about him, but we only see from a distance the church where he is buried.

We pass through Snare Gard. It used to be where the public toilets were, but now it’s one of the nicest and most expensive places to live in the city. Cher talks about how it rains 276 days of the year, so everything needs to be “hyggle” or “hygge”. It means cozy or warm inside your tummy. Snare Gard has the oldest, (it burned down, so not very old), buildings in Copenhagen, and it’s just across the canal from Parliament.

...You can imagine where we head to next...

Parliament island, or Island of Power is separated by a canal. All of the canals in Copenhagen are part of the Baltic. No water- had to drink beer. This is where Jacobsen comes in.

At Parliament, we see Christiansborg Palace. Bishop Absalon built a tower to keep out rapists, but was also the King’s dearest friend and advisor. Guess what, it burned down. Many times. The building we see now is the third Christiansborg, and fifth palace. It’s the tallest tower in Copenhagen, City Hall is the second.

King Christian VIIII had 12 kids and married off everyone to create alliances all over the world. Instead, these kids were to grow up and start WWI. Cheeky how that works. It gets better- These kids who were married off also had slightly incestuous relationships.

As expected, we discuss government, and all of it is nearly identical to Sweden. Denmark doesn’t like to be identified as a Social state- They actually get pissed at you for it. They call is Social Welfare. I’ll list the benefits below:

-Free healthcare and free education until your Masters degree.

-They pay you a stipend to take your PHD as well.

-Good unemployment benefits until you find a job.

-37hr work week. YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHAMED IF YOU WORK MORE THAN THAT.

-5 weeks paid vacation, sometimes 6.

-Maternity and paternity leave just like Sweden: Paid 44 weeks to a year of said leave.

-Pension is taken care of.

-Subsidized old age homes.

-38% income tax to pay for all of this. Up to 63% income tax if you’re like the owner of LEGO. But not once do Danes complain about their taxes here. They actually like their taxes so much, that Parliament once suggested to cut benefits so people could have more of their income. But the Danes refused, as they preferred their benefits. True story. Ask them yourself.

There's also a tremendous amount of safety and trust here. Parliament has no guards unless the Queen is in the Royal reception room. Otherwise, it’s meant to be wandered through by tourists and locals, and be hyggle.

We pass the stock exchange tower and Church of the People tower where Freetown Christiana is located. I’m told Christiana is a socialist anarchist commune. More on that later.

We break here by a statue. I’m starving so I buy a korv. It’s so good, I get halfway through it before I remember to take a photo for you. After our 15minute break, we discuss the statue before us is Bishop Absalon. The legend of Bishop Absalon was that there were Pagan, German, Vinn invaders. Since Absalon was the king’s best friend and advisor, he was tasked with taking care of this problem. Absalon vowed to find the Vinns and convert them to Christians. He got lost in the Baltic for 8 years until he found their settlement. He destroyed their settlements, and since the Vinns’ god did nothing to Absalon in all of his destruction, they all converted to Christianity, and never bothered Copenhagen again.

We carry on and stroll past Nikolaij Church. It used to be a lookout for the firemen until it burned down. Even writing this just gives my dark comedy mind the most jovial experience. Today, it is a modern art museum and a restaurant- So not a church at all.

We come in between the Royal Theatre, and Magasin- The wealthiest shopping store in the city. Hans Christian Andersen lived in Magasin when it used to be a hotel. He wrote for the Royal Theatre right across the street.

After, we arrive at Nyhaven. This also used to be a slum, but it became a new harbor. It got even nicer in the 1960s after throwing out the prostitutes. We were on the opposite side of where I was yesterday, but SO MANY TOURISTS. The oldest building there, erected in 1917 is a tattoo parlor. I have a confession to make, I DIDN'T GET A TATTOO, but I ALMOST did. That's a pretty intense experience for an introvert with a severe aversion to commitment, and a strong sense of always being reminded that nothing is permanent, and trying to make things last is wholly futile. Yeah, that's bleak but it's true- Death man. While all these thoughts and feelings hold true for me, in actuality, the only thing to stop me from getting a tattoo here was that the artwork was horrifically terrible. Cher mentioned that the Prince Of Copenhagen got a tattoo here, but I don't harbor, (pun one thousand percent intended), enough pride for Denmark on this trip to further entice me.

Moving on, another statue! This time of King Christian. He was known to ride around the city on his horse, but was not very popular with the people. They actually hated him. He turned this around when he created a fund for the Jews to escape to Sweden during WWII.

His great granddaughter, Margaret II, is currently Denmark’s Queen. Her son Frederick, is married to a Tasmanian Australian woman, Mary. Apparently Frederick was in Australia for the Olympics and met Mary in a bar. No one knew what the Danish Prince looked like, so he was able to live as a “free” man for this trip. Mary and Frederick fell in love. She still didn’t know he was a prince, until he invited her to come visit. Surprise! They’re happily married- I think anyone would be once they find out their significant other has been royalty this whole time. She’s actually more popular than he is these days. She’s intelligent, and lovely, and apparently learned Danish in only 6 months. Pretty sure the Danes can’t even do that haha! They’re a very normal couple, and even took in an exchange student. Imagine his surprise as well!

The tour concludes, and we all thank Cherise. I try to ask about kebabs and buses, but she’s swarmed with all of the other tourists, and I need to get moving. My best bet is finding a bus, and hoping the route goes to where I’m heading. I only pass one, and it’s not my route.

I back track and it’s faster this time. I walked the same route I did yesterday. I notice the language here sounds German and Dutch- nothing like Swedish or Norwegian. You know how “frukost” means breakfast for us Swedes? “Frukost” means lunch here. I think the Danes are confused. Also, everyone here assumes I’m Danish. I know it might seem obvious from my genetics, but I’m walking around with an enormous tourist backpack, and a large camera like a geek. It truly surprises me. An American tourist asked me for help yesterday, and immediately left when she found out I was also American, and a Spanish tourist asked for help today. I was actually able to help the Spanish lady, and then later, a bathroom assistant just automatically spoke Danish to me. Ah well, glad to fit in I suppose.

I come though to the other side of the bridge. I was told that in Christiana, you can’t take photos, or you’ll get yelled at, or at worst, my very nice camera could get stolen or smashed. My issue is that I can’t totally locate it on my downloadable map. Not taking chances, I pack it away when I’m on the other side of town.

The neighborhood isn’t bad, but there is a noticeable change. The small shops are graffitied and gated. A few guys are riding standing up on their motorcycles, others are drunk and / or stoned. I even pass a guy who is literally taking a shit on the outskirts of the park. I don’t photograph this. Instead I put on my mean face, and lower the brim of my hat. I laugh at myself because I know there isn't the slightest chance I could possibly come off as intimidating, no matter how intense my resting bitch face can be. I can at least attempt to go a little incognito. I pass through a more populated area of the town, and it just looks like a regular area in Copenhagen. The houses are beautiful, there a bunch of kids running around, and a plethora of tourists.

I stop in at The People’s Church. I went to the Church of the People and then went to sin haha! The tower is the most exquisite part, but I don’t have plans to go up- The line is stupid long. I don’t care about being a sucker tourist. The inside is quite plain, but I notice the altar has the most beautiful shades of blue I’ve ever seen. I study this for a very long time.

I can tell I’m getting close to Christiana. I notice the red man at the cross walk light is upside down. I keep walking, and then suddenly come to a very obvious and noticeable entrance.

As I step inside, there are stoners everywhere. It’s slightly intimidating at first, but I quickly note that if everyone’s stoned, they probably won’t do much if I piss them off, or even look at them the wrong way. I ease up when I notice a bunch of kids and other tourists milling about. Im not sure how to describe Christiana... It’s like, if Burning Man fucked Coachella, then this city was their love child. Or like Amsterdam or Venice, but if the stoners were prisoners first. Or like an abandoned amusement park, that got reinhabited after the apocalypse- A town built by burnouts. Honestly, it’s a photographer’s paradise, and my soul is getting crushed by the fact that I can’t take any photos on my good camera. I snap a few when no one is looking with my iPhone. At least I had that.

You know as well as I that I have no interest in smoking, but I REALLY wanted a shirt that I found from here just because the place is like none other I’ve ever experienced. It’s like if I stepped outside of reality an onto a movie set, or better yet, stepped INSIDE of a movie. Sadly, the coolest shirt I could find was $50 and they didn’t even have my size- No way. I could probably make it for less, even though the aim was to support their community. Whatever the community makes and sells, goes right back into the town, supporting it and its community members. Walking around, it’s just like the 405 freeway in Los Angeles- It always smells like weed. Weed is still illegal here, which is why they don’t want tourists documenting it. Knowing that this is the reason they're considered outlaws, makes me want to laugh, and if anyone here threatens me, I could just tell them that I experienced a lock down in my school for a potential shooter once, I could buy my own gun in Walmart, I know a city that let's you smoke on the freeway WHILE operating a vehicle, I jumped off a bridge once, (it was bungee jumping and it was mostly for fun and to face my fear of heights, but also because I probably have a few screws loose to be daring and I battle with depression so Death and I have become a little more fascinated with each other), and I've worked on set on a night shoot in Skid Row, so "Lion King" to that because I "laugh in the face of danger"

...But regardless, I don’t want any trouble here.

It was now 3:30PM, and I sat by a creek for a break. I just needed to get my concept sneakers before 5PM, and wanted to see how much more I had to walk. I’m pretty tired, and although I’d like to spend more time here, I need to head back if I really want my new shoes. I try to walk back a different route to experience more of Christiana. I exit from where the main entrance actually is, and walk along it’s graffitied border wall, where taggers are enjoying their day...And artistic expression. I still hope to find a bus, but no luck. I suppose I could’ve just popped in a shop and asked, but I knew where I was going now, so I just sucked it up, and hurried.

I walk alllll the way back, past my hostel, to where I had halfway walked to a gallery yesterday before giving up. And then I walk some more. The clock is ticking, but I have to keep moving, or the store will close. I come to the KYOTO store where they’re selling some of the concept sneakers with 20 minutes to spare. I find a pair I like, but they don’t have the shoes in my size. I ask if they have a main store. In fact, they do- It’s brand new, and very far.

The store clerks are really nice, and tell me to take a bus to Elmgade. They also found out that the store stays open until 6pm instead of 5pm. Thank God, because everything closes at 5PM. I have another hour to buy my shoes. I make it all the way to the main square of the bus stop. I see my bus, but it’s too far, and I’m at the point where I’ve walked 7miles today with my heavy backpack, and physically can’t run. The next one comes shortly, and I’m elated to sit down. The shop girls were right- it’s FAR.

When I get to my stop, I follow my downloadable map there. It’s fair amount of walking more, but I finally see the little ARKK sign and am overjoyed. I step inside their tiny concept store, and I can hear the angelic chorus. Actually, I hear new wave rap music, and ogle at their shoe selection. I talk to the guy in the store, way more excited about this meeting than he is. I keep thinking it might be cool that someone following their store from Instagram came all the way from California to buy their shoes, and also so she didn’t have to pay for shipping. The dude couldn’t care less, but was really nice. I try on a few different pairs, but nothing jumps my bones, and all of the black pairs I’m trying look just like my black Adidas. I try something new- White, and they’re the perfect ones. I haven’t had white sneakers since 2008, but they look awesome. This pair is more expensive, but at this point, I f***ing deserve it. I try to use my AMEX card for this purchase, and of course, they don’t take it. I have cash, but no reward dollars for me. I’m okay with this, as I’ve been pretty good with my budget the whole trip. I have some left over if I start to sweat.

I pop into a 7 Eleven right as they’re closing, to ask about my bus back. I hop on, and bus all the way back...My legs and feet are totally dead. I had to internally facepalm myself- All of this for a pair of shoes...Just like Faster Mona or a Hypebeast. Honestly, I don't care. These sneakers are not hyped, but they're creative, modern and fresh.

Worth it.

I rush back to the hostel, and shower. With two steaming hot days in the city and walking over 15 miles for both days, this feels heavenly. Dinner is at 6:30PM, so I have more time than I thought. I make it to dinner for 40krowns, and it’s just a bowl of pasta. I facepalm again- I know better- Get kebabs. I could’ve eaten more, but no second helpings, and this was enough for now. From not really being hungry and only having half a bag of chips for dinner yesterday, to a minimal breakfast this morning, to a three hour tour and no time to stop except for a small korv for lunch, to an overpriced, small bowl of pasta for dinner tonight, I need to take my meals seriously tomorrow. My days have just literally been FULL with no spare time in between. I promise myself to have a big, full meal for lunch and dinner, as my breakfast will be small again tomorrow. No need to worry Mom- I’m never starving, just need to gain back some calories with some variety from all the walking. Luckily, I’ll be on a bus for 6-7 hours round trip tomorrow for the aRos gallery in Aarhus so that will save my feet, legs, and calorie burn.

The gallery opens tomorrow at 10AM, but I have to try and leave by 7AM to cover the distance. Early night for me! I also just found out that the other Cisternerne Gallery back in Copenhagen is open until 8Pm tomorrow. Every other day of the week it closes at 6PM- Thank God. Goodnight for now xoxox

-eM

P. S. Someone got arrested in our hostel. Don’t know why, but I came in right when the police showed up, and I heard from the front desk that someone got arrested- They left today, and were caught at the airport, but the officers had to raid the room....Probably for weed.