THE MIRACLE OF LIFE - STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN - DAY 16

Andrea and I share breakfast. I joke and call her “Mom” as she packs me food and cookies for the very short flight to Sweden. We finish up and head to the bus. I hate goodbyes but also I know this obviously won’t be the last time we see each other- We’re Family. She gives me a Neil Gaiman book about Norse mythology for my travels to Sweden. We hug for ages and I thank her over and over again for this once in a lifetime trip that neither of us wanted to end. On the bus, I miss her already.

I wave goodbye from the window and we tear up as the bus pulls away. I put my headphones in and hit shuffle. The first track to play, is of course the major tear jerker, “married life” from the UP soundtrack. I’m trying to keep it together so I don’t ugly cry worse than Kim Kardashian in public. Andrea’s just a natural caregiver, both in her career and her personal life. I somehow left with more than I came with, and my bags so stuffed they’d barely close. I sniffle for the first 15 minutes of the ride.

Dropped off by one cousin at a bus stop and picked up by another. I put my game face on for the airport as I head to meet Julia in Sweden. My tears waft away briefly but instantly return from some serious B.O. coming from a teenage boy sitting in front of me causing different tears. The rest is all pretty standard travel- I check-in, get some coffee, go through security, pass all the Swedes hanging out at the liquor area of Duty Free, wait while updating one cousin in Scotland and the other in Sweden, etc.

I board the plane, and take my seat. A group full of smelly B.O. puberty ridden boys from a class trip pass me giving me a full variety of smelly biological toxic waste. Gentlemen of all ages, this is a PSA. SHOWER...WITH SOAP! NOTHING SMELLS SEXIER ON A MAN THAN SMELLING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

The flight was plain and simple. The only funny thing was when I was asked for coffee or tea, I wanted coffee but requested soy or oat milk. The flight attendant looked at me as if I just told her I hope her mother gets fucked in her grave. Not having dairy in Sweden is sacrilege. Although, the heavy irony is that oat milk is made and mass distributed from...Sweden. Instead, I took my coffee the way I take my comedy. Black all the way through.

I have another thing to admit here...I’ve been speaking English. I know what to say in Swedish, and I’m not afraid to speak it, but one grammar mistake or mispronunciation leaves you with nothing but a smirk, an eye roll, and an immediate switch to English with whomever native Swedish speaker you’re conversing with. It’s just not worth the trouble, and as a social experiment, I wonder if I’ll be treated better as an English speaking “tourist”. This flight attendant seems to see straight through my very Scandinavian blue eyes and blonde hair, and appears very cross that I spoke English during our non-dairy coffee conversation. Oh well, Swedes do sound like the Swedish chef when they speak Swedish, English, or their beloved French. Yeah I said it, a Swedish accent speaking English sounds ridiculous you tall, overly caffeinated, very attractive, white sneaker wearing, emotionally constipated, black metal listening, existential alcoholics, mobile palm trees for people! How do you like it?

I turn to Andrea’s Norse Mythology book. Perhaps this will improve the Scandinavian enthusiast tourist charade.

I land and take the bus to be picked up by Julia. Passing through Sweden is such the norm these days, I don’t even look up from my book. I know can hear myself talk and I know this sounds absurdly snobby, but it's just facts. 40mins later and I see my very pregnant, stor lilla kusin (big little cousin). She’s got the baby glow, but I can’t hide my surprise after seeing her like this for the first time. I’m smiling from ear to ear and we ask each other a million questions, her about my time in Scotland, and I about Tove and her pregnancy. I just can’t believe it. I tease her a bit by having my small backpack sitting at the front of me and tell her we match now. She didn’t find that joke as amusing as I did.

We go to her place where we meet up with Tove and Ludvig! I drop my bags and we go out for burgers at Joel Kinnaman’s restaurant. It’s so fun to see everyone even if it’s just for a few hours. We talk about home, family, work, TV shows, and what will take place in Gotland with our mini family reunion between the Swedes and the Norwegians. Tove leaves a bit early to get a package for the baby.

Ludvig has to go, and we all head home. I try to take the girls out for ice cream to say thanks for hosting me for the night, but it turns out pregnancy wears you out, and the girls decide Home is better...Even though the little one really wants ice cream haha! She’s definitely one of us- Julia and I are in the ice cream lovers club.

Back home Tove proudly shows me the crib, and three drawers full of baby clothes. Tove and Julia are going to be best Moms...And this kid will be better dressed as a newborn than I have ever been in my whole adult life. My favorite part is when we all chill on the couch watching TV. Julia tells me to “feel here”! I reach over to her side and her little girl is moving her legs. She gets hiccups later and I end up just rubbing the baby belly for half an hour, kind of holding her. The hiccups are almost like a little heartbeat. It’s the weirdest and coolest thing in the world. It actually feels like a gentle alien under her skin, but so, so sweet. Julia I think loves being pregnant. She says it’s been an easy pregnancy and she’s going to miss this. I chimed in saying she should just have another one haha! It was perfectly mysigt (cozy) with lit candles, a big couch, the TV hum in the background, Julia and Tove holding each other, and me holding the baby- sort of. It felt really special to be a part of it, and I just gaze at Julia’s stomach in awe.

Tove notices my stunned face, and asks if I’d felt a baby kick before. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve felt a baby in a tummy since Camilla was pregnant with my niece B. But that was 19 years ago, and I was just a little kid myself. None of my friends are pregnant (yet). We’re all still chasing our careers, globe trotting, and making the inevitable life mistakes in our twenties. There’s no timeline to start a family of course, but mentally I really don’t feel even close to mature enough. I’d rather take my time even though this is the purest and sweetest vignette of life I’ve been able to experience as an outsider looking in.

It hasn’t given me baby fever in the least, but I certainly can’t wait to meet this kiddo. We’re all so curious as to how she’ll look, and what kind of person she’ll become. I know this is cheesy, but life truly is a miracle. I learned a lot about pregnancy and baby growth in the few short hours I was with them, and women/‘s bodies, and babies are truly phenomenal. Nature is incredible, and this little munchkin will be the most loved- A little brown haired, green eyed baby (we guess). See you in two months!

I just have to say, it’s pretty neat being able to spend time with my cousin during both major chapters of her life. Clubbing and traveling together when we were young/er, and again now when she’ll be a Mom! It’s so wild!

We go to bed and I thank and hug the girls (all three), goodbye. I’ll wake up and leave before they’ll be up.

Gotland in the morning at 5am!